What a great question – “would YOU allow anyone to treat YOU as badly as you treat yourself??”
This was a question posed to the audience by a wonderful Scottish lass Liz Ivory during a Broadband Consciousness lecture I was attending. Actually it was one of a number of things Liz said during her amazing presentation but I have to be honest it was some time later before I understood the significance of this brilliant thought provoking question.
In the early days while trying to understand why my mind had gone so far out of kilter I spend many hours reading books; listening to CD’s and attending all kinds of presentations and lectures…there are some amazing people out there providing all sorts of solutions to the complex psychological and physical issues that I was struggling with, but regardless of how focused I tried to be; adopting NEW techniques into my hectic life; I kept failing.
Many years ago I was suffering from a bad back and through sheer desperation I sought relief through all kinds of weird and wonderful therapies including having cotton buds soaked in cocaine shoved up my nose…it did nothing to ease the pain but boy did I feel good!!…after the cocaine episode, which incidentally was administered by a Harley Street doctor, my sister introduced me to the Alexander Technique.
AT is all about body alignment and minimising muscle use which I recognised, as someone who at the time was driving zillions of miles a year, was due to poor posture.
So for 10 weeks I visited a AT practitioner in Cambridge and for the entire 30 minute sessions we worked on standing up from a chair…that’s it…30 smackers a week to learn how to stand up correctly. Everything about AT makes sense when you study its principles but even then, long before I understood how the subconscious mind worked, I struggled, because away from the therapist I just carried on as before.
Because my programme for standing up was so ingrained into my subconscious that whilst I accepted the continual repetition of the work the therapist was doing with me could have yielded positive results (if I didn’t run out of money), the pressure of modern life simply removed my ability to stay focused on postural issues and so soon after each session my subconscious just reverted back to the default setting (I found out much later that the subconscious only learns through repetition.)
I remember thinking when I decided to stop shelling out my hard earned cash that this stuff should be taught in primary school to young virgin minds who are hungry for information, because the principles of AT make perfect sense and could reduce the problems with postural trigger back problems that many adult suffer with today…but I digest.
So seriously “would YOU allow anyone to treat YOU as badly as YOU treat yourself?”
Well it was sometime after a massively aggressive confrontation I had with a colleague that the light bulb came on.
Look I am not that quick so give me a break here!!… I was out in the garden doing something, while my mind was actively revisiting THAT confrontation, as it had been doing for a number of weeks and thereby causing me regularly to fall foul of the ‘washing machine syndrome’, when suddenly I had this light bulb moment.
Every negative feeling I had about myself was being generated from within.
OK outside influences might be responsible for triggering a reaction but it is entirely up to me, well actually my subconscious, as to whether THAT reaction was positive or negative. And when a negative reaction is triggered this is purely down to a toxic script that is stored in my subconscious.
Are you getting the picture here?
So if I could neutralise these toxic scripts then I would ultimately start being, by default, kinder to myself.
So the first thing I did was to CONSCIOUSLY change my opinion of my colleague…from fuckwit to bloody nice guy.
You know the result was virtually instant, as the process seemed to remove the very fuel that my sub-conscious was using to systematic destroy me. Changing my stance toward just one individual had such an amazing and immediate effect that I thought ‘sod this’ and wrote a whole list of things from my past that I knew were seriously toxic to me…I then went through each one and simply said enough is enough…that’s it your times up…”I accepted full responsibly for the circumstances that caused each individual toxic script to be formed”, regardless of whether that was fair or not; drew a line under each one and BINGO…bloody BIINNNGGGOOOO!…neutralised them…thereafter when I started to feel the ‘washing machine syndrome’ coming on I just simply said in my mind “I totally agree with you subconscious you will get no resistance from me”, and that seems to extinguish its power. And as the subconscious learns through repetition I just keep reminding it of the fact.
Look I understand that if you are reading this stuff for the first time it can sound a bit weird…I promise you I was a complete cynic before I decided that I was right fucked off with feeling crap all the time and needed to change.
Whatever route I was taking was a route that I no long wished or, in the words of Richard Wilkins…”would choose”, to take….so I jumped ship.
It is tough making the transition I am advocating because it means disregarding many of the ingrained beliefs (some crazy beliefs) that you have fostered since you were knee high to a grass-hopper which have become the foundation for the identity of the person you believe you are today…regardless of whether that identity works for you or otherwise.
BUT…here’s the BIG but…if those beliefs about yourself with their subsequent behaviours are not working for you…NEUTRALISE THE FUCKERS…in the words of Albert Einstein “insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.”
On that basis I was guilty of being totally insane for 56 years…I urge you not to make the same mistake.
Check out Liz Ivory here.
Liz provides one to one sessions and is achieving absolutely amazing results especially with young females.