I’m now in a much better place, emotionally, through making a conscious attempt to look forward and not back to events that took me to the edge.
I am no stranger to mental health and stress problems, much of it relating to an undiagnosed food allergy, some from my childhood subconscious, which led to what I perceived as a toxic career: teaching English since 1987.
I first became ill in 2001 when our first child was born, leading me to quickly reassess my workplace in Stoke, and doing what I thought was a solution back then, relocating to near where I was brought up. This first bout of anxiety, stress alarmed me as I’d had no health problems in 14 years in the classroom and put it down as a blip.
Little did I know that on moving to Norfolk in 2008, the cycle of depression, anxiety and stress would resurface on a much bigger scale.
I became lost. Someone who’d been a successful teacher and leader in education for years was now broken.
What triggered my malaise in 2013 and slow road to recovery until a career bombshell hit me in 2015? The subconscious. That part of my brain that had been formed in childhood made me both fly and fight, as a survival mechanism.
I got to a point where I was barely functioning – depression was so deep and anxiety so irrational and embedded that I sought professional help and made a decision to turn my back on teaching after I’d been what felt like, to me and others, being hounded out of the profession by colluders in Norfolk and Suffolk. I thought it was paranoia – but they were all out to get me!
Hindsight though is marvellous and by becoming lost, by breaking, I found my calling – writing and web design, working freelance from home. I rewired my mind too.
Back from the brink, cutting out drinking, focusing on better lifestyle choices and changing career and leaving the backstabbing profession of teaching behind, I’m now in recovery.
It’s taken me 4 years to start functioning again from having a mind and body like a car crash.
I want to share my experiences with you, not in some narcissistic way, but openly so that you can feel comfortable sharing your struggles and doing us on this new journey.
The past 4 years have been challenging and I don’t want anyone to suffer like I have. I hope I don’t have to go through these traumatic, long-lasting events again.