Crap thanks, how’s your life been? an introduction

Don’t ever, ever, ever  let anyone, including yourself, convince you that you can’t change…its a big stonking lie but many of us are so entrenched into this belief, that the consequence is having a devastating and, in some cases, life-threatening impact on the relationship we have with ourselves…and others.

I can still remember that day, at Primary School, when Mr Russell, the head master, came into our class to collect the 3 ‘thickies’, who every week would be treated to an hour of ‘special’ one to one tuition with him to try and bring them up to speed with the rest of us. On every occasion, until that day, the rest of the class kinda grew in stature (well I certainly did) as the 3 were lead away, because even for a class of 9 years olds the desire to succeed had already been ingrained into our subconscious and I think silently we all liked the idea that we were better than our 3 rather stupid colleagues…children can be so cruel!!

So on this day, as Mr Russell entered the classroom as he had done on all previous occasions he called out the names of the 3…but on this particular day a fourth name was added…MINE.

OMG! O…M…G!!!

Even as I write  I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck start to stand on end, as they did on that ‘life changing’ day and even 50+ years on I can still remember the dreadful feeling that consumed my body as I was led away…with the sound of the sniggers from my class-mates ringing in my ears…And although as it turned out I only sat in on two sessions because Mr Russell realised that I wasn’t as thick as he thought, for me the damage was done,  the experience was so traumatic that the programme deep in my sub-conscious immediately embraced this experience as fact, and from that day on my thoughts and subsequent behaviours, would be moulded by this self-sabotaging belief.   

Richard Crisp – The Author

So perhaps you will understand just how ridiculous that sounded to me when I overheard someone say isn’t Richard Crisp that author bloke? Where are you now Mr Russell?

Throughout my adult life I struggled with reading and writing the English language, based purely on a programme that I acquired at the age of 9, and therefore the idea that I could write anything of worth, was never on my radar. And yet against a whole load of internal negative struggles while running successful businesses or working for others I have been forced into writing copious amounts of copy; whether it be business plans, conceptual ideas, press releases or simple emails or letters, and whilst I still ask Mrs C to proof read anything of significant, the reality is, my ridiculous beliefs about my inabilities have no bearing on the reality. But it took me over bloody 50 years to understand this and you know what that really does piss me off (excuse my French) because if nothing else these crazy beliefs deprived me of fully appreciating the wonderful life I was having.

So here I was, a middle-aged husband, father and grandad, with a beautiful home in rural Norfolk and an amazing job which rewarded me well appearing to have the perfect life. But behind this ‘facade of success’ I was finding it increasingly difficult to deal from the physical and psychological consequences of the civil war that was being waged in my head…day after day after day. Having destroyed my thyroid the effects of the toxic hormones that were flooding my body had started to wreak havoc with my immune system and GUT… so to do nothing was no longer an option.

Now I can’t remember exactly which day it was, but I do remember waking up to the reality that unless I waged war on my inner demons then I was destined to be controlled for the rest of my life by a set of ridiculous thoughts and behaviours which not only were serving me so badly, but more worryingly were responsible for driving my anxiety and stress levels through the stratosphere.  

For the next year I read many books, spent hours researching the internet, attended lectures and listened to countless CDs and gradually, very gradually I started to find answers and then solutions, to my ridiculous behaviour patterns and in doing so discovered so much about the mechanics of the human mind that I felt compelled to put pen to paper in the hope that I might help others deal with their own but certainly not unique internal struggles.

During my darkest time when approached by well-meaning friends I played the ‘isn’t life wonderful card’, for fear that to tell the truth “Crap thanks how’s your life been?” would somehow influence their opinion of me.  The title of my book was born.

Crap thanks, is a simple man’s guide to finding simple answers to the complexities of the human mind.

It tells the story of Eamon (A Man), the first prototype human to set foot on planet earth. The aim of Eamon’s creators was to create an animal that would tame and manage the world’s resources. But during his early days Eamon became the favoured meal for a very aggressive and ravenous tiger and so the creators were tasked with designing and incorporating many defence mechanisms into Eamon’s brain which would ultimately change the balance of power. After two thousand years the experiment was completed. Eamon had no equals…and as far as his creators were concerned their job was done.  

But they were wrong. Soon woman would be introduced into the fray and the human population would grow and whilst the survival skills that Eamon had learned would prove to be instrumental in aiding man to dominate the planet, on the flip-side man was totally ill-equipped to deal with the mental and psychological problems that would result from his dominance and subsequent drive for wealth, the consequence of which would prove to have a potentially devastating impact on his very survival. 

Put simply man’s prehistoric brain was never designed to deal with the complexities of the modern world…Eamon and his immediate family were in serious trouble and so with much haste, for his creators,  it was back to the drawing board…

“Crap Thanks” is currently available on Amazon (priced £9.99 plus postage) and if they (Amazon) can pull their finger out and respond to my simple question, then it will also be available also in a kindle format.

I also have copies at home which I’ll gladly post to you at cost!

Email: and we will send secure PayPal details if you’d like to buy a copy!

By |2018-06-13T15:52:14+00:00May 4th, 2018|The Tribe|3 Comments


  1. Mr Mumbles 6th June 2018 at 7:40 am - Reply

    Mr Crisp,

    Thank you.

    I have just finished reading, probably one of the most original and profound pieces of literature, I believe, I have ever had the pleasure to read.
    The ABC books written by academic professors and specialists, may go into the finer details of how the brain and mind works, and for some this is a great help( nothing wrong with that I say )
    There is an old saying that I try to adhere in all forms of my daily life.

    “KISS” (for the uninitiated you may now un-pucker your lips, I’m sure you’re a nice chap but I’m a happily married man !! Sorry I like to feel I have a funny sense of humour! )

    No “KISS”…” Keep it Simple Stupid “

    Now not for one moment am I suggesting that Richard is stupid ! In fact I think he is quite the opposite!
    He has made understanding something that We have all kind of been missing, so bloody easy to now see!

    So all our past experiences have some how messed us up ! “Well no shit Sherlock “ I hear you say! But have you really sat and thought about your past experiences? About the people who have influenced your life ? About the people that you don’t even know who have had influence over your life and it’s complex path ?

    Have a read of this book, I promise you that you will start think about all the things I have previously mentioned!

    All the deep stuff aside it’s actually fun good to read as a novel.

    Top stuff Mr Crisp and once again

    Thank you.

  2. richard Crisp 6th June 2018 at 4:58 pm - Reply

    Well Mr Mumbles…many thanks for your wonderful review…I actually re-read it a few days ago and even though I have learned many things since I first wrote CRAP THANKS…it actually stands up bloody well…I wonder if you would duplicate, if you haven’t already, your review on Amazon

  3. Mr Mumbles 6th June 2018 at 5:26 pm - Reply

    Mr Crisp,

    My Amazon review was placed yesterday.
    Not quite a duplicate but I would definitely take notice of it if I was considering your book.

    I hope it helps and people get to read it.

    The NHS should issue a copy to all new born babies and parents read it regularly as a bed time story.

    Let it sink in as they sleep!

    What do you think?

    Oh if only !

    Take care and say hello to Jeremy next time you see him in the garden.

Leave A Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.