Is Evil Ernie…our constant companion responsible for the growing number of male suicides?
So who the hell is Ernie…let me explain.
The other day while having a few bevvies, a colleague (Rob) told me about Evil Ernie…the person who he drives to work with every day.
“I can’t remember when Ernie started to accompany me on my daily journeys because when I think about it he seems to have been with me for ever”, he conceded. “But in recent times Ernie has become increasingly hostile and his views so incredibly toxic that I am desperately trying to separate myself from this evil opinionated force that has begun to have serious effects on my thinking and health, In fact he is pissing me right off”
Of course Ernie is not real in the human sense, no Ernie, is the voice in Rob’s head (in all of our heads actually) that is constantly chastising him without mercy…
The problem for us blokes is that if we start talking about voices in our head others will immediately assume that we are weird or worse still schizophrenic and take a seriously wide berth or have us carted off to some bleak institution where we will be locked away for our own safety…ironically with no one to keep us company except Ernie…the fucker who got us into the mess in the FIRST place.
So for our own sanctuary us blokes stay schtum about Ernie thereby allowing the bastard to continue to mould our thoughts and behaviours …and not for the good I might add.
A few years ago during a company restructuring Rob was asked to look after another region of the UK, which actually was easier for him to manage then his, at the time, present area.
But during the meeting when this change was proposed I could see his enthusiasm to the move, slowly drain, so I called him whilst driving home and asked what the problem was. “I hate Nottingham” he replied (I should add for my own personal safety that I don’t share Rob’s opinion about this fine, no wonderful, city) but as it transpired Rob’s, or should we say Ernie’s, view was purely based on one bad experience he had had some years previous.
What actually happens when we have a bad experience, the information and our reaction at that time will be stored in our sub-conscious, and unless we challenge THAT reaction, that will become our default setting for, in Rob’s case, hating Nottingham. So whenever this wonderful city is mentioned in conversation, Rob will immediately, for no apparent or rational reason, start feeling uncomfortable and with Ernie pulling all the strings he will start to become decidedly miserable…and stressed.
Crazy aye but that is exactly how our minds work.
For most of my adult life I had my own ‘ear basher’ (he too is now called Ernie) completely screwing up my thoughts and this in part is why 7 years ago I decided to call it a day…and fight back. Why? Because Ernie had taken over and was seriously destroying the healthy life I wanted and from discussions I have had with many others since, I am certainly not alone, because their own BIG E is instrumental in causing them similar psychological and physical problems to mine.
Today while I was thinking about writing this blog, I had a meeting with a contractor (I work in construction) who was stressed to the hilt but when I mentioned ‘Evil Ernie’ he totally got it. OK he had never spoken to anyone about the voice in his head assuming it was something peculiar to him, but when I mentioned who Ernie was, his whole demeanour changed and he became visually enlightened.
“Jesus no one ever explain this stuff to me, so for most of my life I thought the voices in my head meant that I was crazy… and it has really stressed me out”, he confessed.
Somewhat ironically he went on to tell me about the stomach problems he has had for many years…something that the MANSTRESS team can concur with…STRESS does fuck up your digestive system!! FACT!!
So why does Ernie get away with it?
Easy answer…because us blokes keep tight-lipped about our struggles and this allows the little fucker to mess with our heads with impunity…and what’s more when Ernie focuses on a particular event from our distant past, which the bastard will do, the feelings we will experience will be as raw, as when that event happened…Why? Because this is how nature designed it.
As I sit here writing this, I know that there of tens of thousands of men out there, struggling to deal with the toxic messages lambasting about in their heads as Evil Ernie manipulates their thoughts, beliefs and subsequent behaviours. And to a growing number of men who are struggling to cope with this crazy miscalculation by nature zillions of years ago, this is making them, at best, sick, and in the worst case scenario, suicidal, and I find this absolutely fucking appalling, especially as simple solutions do exists to lessen Ernie’s power.
In Rob’s case simply opening his mind to all the positive things about ‘the town of the green tighted merry men’ and consciously positively celebrating every trip, and every business meeting, would do much to neutralise Ernie…yes it can be as simple as that.
If ‘Ernie’ is currently playing silly buggers with your mind, please share your story.