STRESS did what HITLER’S mighty army failed to do…sent my loving dad to heaven.
Many years ago when I was going through one of my negative periods I purchased a Man Care book because it came with a stress indicator…this was way before the internet so any research about physical or mental health was not readily available and normally required spending some hard earned cash on something that very quickly would gather dust, alongside my other impulse buys.
Now to be honest I didn’t have a clue about STRESS and on various occasions when visiting my local GP to discuss a physical ailment I remember getting quite affronted by the assertion that a painful joint could be due to STRESS rather than an old fighting wound…which always seemed cooler…”I’m a bloke and blokes don’t get STRESSED I would argue”…well that is what my instil in me when I was about 3 and I have never forgotten his wonderful words of wisdom…much to my detriment.
My dad was born In Doncaster in the early 1920’s; a working man’s town where to survive you had to appear tough…even if you weren’t. My dad was not tough but he survived.
At 18 he signed up to bomber command and spent the next 4 years trying to deal with the unimaginable STRESSES that would have clearly consumed his body during those many night time bombing raids over Germany, praying to God that he and his fellow crew members would manage to survive another night of hell as Hitler’s military might tried to blast them out of the sky. Like most of those who did survive the war my dad never spoke about the horrors he witnessed…my dad was a quiet reserved man and ironically it was not Hitler but pent-up STRESS that finally killed him.
My dad was a good, honest, generous man; he was a wonderful father and with my beautiful mum, they provided me and my sister with a warm bed in a safe and loving home…it seemed perfect at the time and in many ways it was. But and here’s the BIG but. As a I reflect back I realised that collectively they were struggling with their own internal demons, demons if given the choice I would MUCH rather not have inherited; Mum was a chronic worrier and my dad extremely sensitive and prone to serious bouts of anxiety.
BUT I didn’t have a choice (none of us have the choice) and therefore during my formative years whilst consuming all the good values which my parents would instil in me through observing how they reacted to negative issues, shed-loads of unfiltered toxic shit was able to flood into my mind with impunity forming the foundation for the person I was to become.
Why the hell would they do that you might ask??? Because of a complete fuck up by nature which is best explained in my book ‘Crap thanks how’s your life been?’ (End of Advert and back to the story) It was not their fault. But regardless, when Mrs C, on those RARE occasions when she is less than happy with me says “You are getting more like your dad everyday”…ouch…in fact double OUCH!!…she isn’t actually that far off the truth.
So back to my Man Care book. So pouring myself a cup of coffee, nothing stronger, I went through the 20 questions. To be honest it was a load of bollocks really (well that’s what I wrongly concluded at the time) because when I’d finished I had ticked all the B boxes which apparently meant that I was beyond STRESS and should be dead. But as I wasn’t DEAD I thought fuck it, and spent the next 30 years ALIVE but increasingly struggling as STRESS consumed my body and mind…until one day I woke up to the reality that my dad and grandfather died from STRESS related illnesses at the young age 65…with my life spiralling down-hill at an increasingly alarming rate I could no longer ignore the warning signs…I had to act and at 58…bloody quickly…because 65 is far too young to emigrate…if you get my drift.
Albert Einstein was spot on – insanity is “doing the same things over and over again and expecting different result”.
Stress is killing modern MAN (that’s us) at an alarming rate FACT!!…are you listening FACT!!…
STOP ignoring the signs…STOP listening to those crazy voices in your head (yes we all have crazy voices in our head its normal) …STOP trying to be the tough guy (you are not that good at it)… STOP and think how much better your life would be if you could neutralise those horrible internal toxic messages and feelings that make you feel like shit…STOP believing that you can’t change (that’s bollock – you can)…STOP beating yourself up “none of this is your fault”…STOP allowing the negativities of your past dictate your future…Just STOP right now and join our tribe because together we can achieve amazing life changing results… that was Henry Ford’s philosophy to business ‘find a few good men with a common goal and you can achieve anything’…and he didn’t do that bad.
Whilst we have never met I know that you are an AMAZING individual; for reasons that I will explain in future posts…Bollocks I hear you say…well bollocks back if you are prepared to listen I am prepared to explain…but until then think about this ‘ultimately the only person stopping you from believing that you are AMAZING is you’…Why wouldn’t you want to do that?? Well here’s a clue ‘You are not making the choice!”