Song writers – Crosby, Stills and Nash wrote “Teach your children well and feed them on your dreams”…What great advice providing of course that our dreams are the kind that we would want to share…and that is why I gave myself a bloody good talking to on Monday…
Let me explain.
The national football team had just won its second world cup match and regardless of the quality of the opponents; a poor Panama side; the cynical part of me, that negative voice in my head, just would not allow me to celebrate the moment. Look I am really upbeat and a football fan, but “30 years of hurt” as the song goes, actually DID stop me from believing…and here lies the crux of everything that is screwed up about the workings of the human subconscious mind.
Sport is there for all of us to either participate in or simply enjoy by watching others…my son playing football many years ago, on various cold windswept ‘cow fields’ in North Norfolk, still brings a smile to my face as too does my grandson Seb, clad in his new ‘Arry Kane’ England kit, developing his footie skills with the neighbourhood kids, on the green outside, in much the same way I did many years ago.
So why am I, listening to the radio on Monday morning, along with many others so bloody negative about our national team?
Well if you have been following my posts you will know that I do tend to place much of the blame on the mechanics of the mind that was actually created to protect us against a marauding tiger.
Yep that old chestnut.
Whenever the mind senses our discomfort, regardless of how minimal that discomfort might be, then all hell can break lose internally, as our protective mechanism floods our bodies with toxic hormones preparing us to ‘fight or flee’.
And that over the years is exactly what has happened to me; an avid follower of ENGLAND…
Historically us fans have been brain-washed into believing THIS is the golden generation building up our hopes and yet every time without fail, THAT golden generation have failed miserably on the world stage, leaving us fans to deal with those dreadful empty gut wrenching feelings that result as our minds goes into over-drive.
As I got older I realised, to protect myself from the fall out, it would be easier just to take a negative stance about our consistent failures and as this has helped me through various disastrous European championships and World cup campaigns it has worked pretty well…so why change now?
Children learn by example and my boys deserve better from me.
Life is tough OK but what right have I to instil ridiculous negativities into their fragile young minds and deprive them of the same wonderful hopes and expectations I had as a young boy. Furthermore, part of my own journey through the remainder of my life is to rid myself of those horrible debilitating beliefs and feelings that have served me so badly because such feelings are not attractive or beneficial to self or others…so I’m going to change this default setting and would urge other ‘cynics’ to follow suit.
My great friend Richard Wilkins told me this story. As a highly successful ‘off the wall’ inspirational speaker he had been approached by a TV producer who had the idea of building a series around his work. Well Richard, who is a big kid at heart, just couldn’t contain himself and became animatedly excited as his imagination ran wild. So in an attempt to bring Richard back to planet earth the producer explained that it was only an idea and as there were no guarantee that it would happen his excitement might be a tad premature. To which Richard replied “Look I don’t care if it doesn’t happen but until I learn one way of the other, I’m going to have a bloody good time enjoying the thought”.
What a great philosophy to life and one that has many positive spin-offs…
So yes Seb ‘Arry Kane’ is the greatest footballer since time began and England are definitely going to win the world cup…call me delusional if you like but hey I’m going to enjoy every darn moment until reality proves otherwise…and that applies to everything in life.
Think about it… surely stress management is about embracing the good things in life; not allowing screwed up programs to dictate our emotions to such a level that they deprive us from celebrating those rare occasions when something good actually happens … so … COME ON ENGLAND.