I was really interested to read Richard’s experiences when confronted by a colleague. As someone who has struggled to deal with low self-esteem and sought specialist help, with little change on various occasions, I can completely concur with him about the craziness of the human mind. I had always believed that there was something wrong with me, because I did not seem to react in the same way as others when exposed to a potentially negative situation, but Richard’s piece has left me wondering whether the opinion I formed about myself many years ago, that has caused me so much consternation throughout my adult life, was not just wrong but completely ill-founded.
During a recent visit to a therapist recommended by a friend, he said to me that I should try to think of myself as a balloon, not a wall. He didn’t expand on this and I didn’t ask him too but I left the session really confused as I just don’t know what he meant. I have tried to picture myself thus and have managed to conjure up images but what does it mean? I, for one, have no clue and am not sure I will be returning as since that last visit my mind has been all over the place and my anxiety, as a result, has escalated.
I am a single man, in my mid-thirties. I am university educated and work in an industry that seems to be driven more by income and profit that managing their staff. I quite enjoy what I do but would be quite happy to do something else but have no clue what else I want to do. I live at home having fairly recently split from my girlfriend. We had lived together for six years but it became increasingly obvious that we both wanted completely different things and she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) understand how my anxiety/depression affected every part of my life, and when it was particularly bad she would either get angry with me or just ignore me, neither of which helped and eventually the inevitable happened and I walked out after yet another furious argument.
Reluctantly I moved back with Mum. I say reluctantly because although I love her dearly, I also find her quite intrusive and she has started to treat me the same as she did when I was a teenager e.g. “what time will you be back”, “you treat this house like a hotel” etc. etc. I don’t argue with her as I am grateful that she is ok with me moving back as it must be just as difficult for her but her continual dominance has done nothing to help my anxiety.
Thank you Richard and your team for launching the Manstress platform. It is so comforting having this available as it has made me realise that I am not alone, that there is alternative help out there and that there is always someone to talk to whenever I need it…without judgement or criticism.
I wish you well.