I weep a lot…but then so did my dad…yet another wonderful quality I inherited from him.
My dad certainly wasn’t and I don’t think I am ‘an emotional wreck’, but sensitive, too bloody right I’m sensitive… and proud of it!
Anyway what the hell’s wrong with being sensitive? Sensitivity isn’t an illness, it isn’t a disease and it certainly isn’t bad and surely to god it’s a much more attractive quality than the alternative…insensitive.
So why do we men have such a hang up about being labelled as sensitive, or more importantly why do we feel so uncomfortable openly shedding a few tears when our sensitive emotions are triggered? I mean females have no problem turning on the taps when the mood suits and somehow it seems perfectly natural…what’s more it seems to bring the best out in those around with comfort and human kindness being showered in abundance.
So why such an imbalance?
As a child I can’t remember my parents discouraging me from weeping but some time between the age 4 and 8 ish; having witnessed what the bullies did to those sensitive youngsters who openly wept; my survival at all costs kicked in and I decided that I would never expose my emotions to those bastards…of course it didn’t stop me weeping but like one of those cartoon characters who, having smashed some sensitive part of his body with something very heavy, politely excuses himself before legging it across hills and valleys to some far away and out of ear shot place, before letting out a massive AAARRRGGGHHHH!!…I too would find a private sanctuary where I could let all hell loose without fear of ridicule.
Does that make me weak or am I just following convention ‘tough men don’t cry!!’…and thereby hiding the truth.
Sport produces some wonderful examples of how real men react to disappointment; I can’t imagine any fuck-wit bully going up to the sobbing Australian front row after being beaten by Johnny Wilkinson’s last-minute drop goal to win the world cup, ON THEIR TURF, and questioning their emotional stability…not unless of course he had a death wish.
And surely there is no football supporter who has forgotten Paul Gascoigne’s emotional breakdown when he received a yellow card in the semi finals of the World Cup, meaning that he would miss the final…which most of us would have witnessed through misty eyes as our national team of highly paid footballers managed to miss more penalties then the Germans (again) and thereby save ‘Gazza’ the heartbreak. But ‘Gazza’ is far from being alone with emotionally strong sportsmen like Andy Murray, Nick Faldo, Steven Gerrard, Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, John Terry and David Beckham having been captured shedding a few tears when their emotions were overwhelmed.
So forget all the ‘tough men don’t cry’ bollocks let’s examine the facts…
Before writing this article I ‘googled’ “is crying good for us?”
It seemed strange to me that it is perfectly acceptable for males to laugh openly with others at something funny but not collectively weep when sharing something sad.
Contrary to popular belief we are not all heartless bastards.
Much research appears to have been done in recent years on this subject and I couldn’t find a single research paper that supported the argument that it is anything other than good if not essential for humans to cry. Apparently there are countries around the world where it is common practice to see men weeping…(for the record I often do when I open my bank statement…and I live in the UK)….indeed in Japan it is openly encouraged on the basis that a bloody good cry will help release STRESS…and that is the key for me…STRESS reduction.
The pressures being placed on 21st century man have never been so great.
In search of wealth, man has become a prisoner to the rules of the ‘corporates’ and a slave to ‘consumerism’ and this is having a devastating impact on the mental health of the nation. Why? Because it contravenes everything that nature instilled into the human animal to ensure not only survival… but happiness.
In my book, “Crap thanks how’s your life been?” I introduce Eamon, the first man to set foot on planet Earth. Forget Adam and Eve or Darwin’s bloody ‘evolution from the ape’ theory, Eamon was the prototype from whom we ALL evolved. And I know that to be true because it’s in my book. Now besides trying to promote ‘CRAP THANKS’, there is an important purpose in mentioning this.
The human animal is an amazing piece of engineering. What individually our physical bodies and minds can achieve when working in perfect harmony is quite extraordinary. Our subconscious, the engine room of our minds is processing millions…yes millions of pieces of data every second and is responding instantly to environmental changes, threats or pleasures. Everything that nature built into the human machine has a purpose; nature left nothing to chance because ultimately nature recognised if man could survive and was happy then man would procreate the planet.
If nature deemed that laughing and crying were two essential parts of the man’s DNA for releasing pressure then who the hell are we to play GOD and say otherwise. For tens of thousands of years nature had run the show bloody well, until the macho bloody arrogance of modern man changed the dynamic of shared human emotions forcing us ‘tough men’ to deal with a ‘pressure cooker’ of internal conflicts without a safe value…and in silence.
Well I say enough is enough…surely the growing statistics of stress-related illnesses amongst men is telling its own story…but forget the statistics; we are talking about real good hard working men…sons, husbands and fathers here; all victims of 21st century western macho-fucked thinking.
It’s enough to make us tough guys weep!
Have one on me.